ok.. so here i am back again.. depressed and down, feeling as if i am very screwed up.. not only is my kid having his mid-yrs, i have more stuff up my sleeve. This all so antagonising! y is it that ppl u dun want seem to flock to u? but ppl u want juz always seem outta ur grasp? first its this person, then its that person.. its seems as though some higher power is fooling around with you..

shall i die or shall i linger? my effort may juz kill or i may reap some rewards... i dunno.. the future seems ever so bleak for me.. all this while.. i noe u have ur problems.. but i'm here to wait.. but ignore me not.. coz that stabs and pierces...

dun worry pple.. i am NOT SUICIDAL... i alone shall dwell in the darkness and wait for MY light of day to appear and save me from the clutches of my own weakness.. await i shall indeed..

xavier

New Perspectives:


-Adaptation of the Hong Kong bus transport system

-Adaptation of the Integrated Programme into the Singapore Sports School

-Finding jobs for students in Singapore during the school holidays
-gain working experience
-earn money
-life skills?

-Direct Democracy in Anderson Junior College?

-Mandatory Recycling

-Mystery Shopper

-Disco for Teenagers(16)

-yoga/folkdance/aerobics as PE lessons

-massaging service in schools

-manicures in school

-castrate the guy who is married and goes around screwing some other whores

ok pple! here i am again! after one whole week.. i am here to blog once again.. YEA! i know i shouldnt have done that but i should blog more oftner.. anyway.. loads of stuff happened.. i needa say so so so so so much!

first there's the insurmountable amount of work.. then there's the injuries that i got from stage.. still cant imagine how i sprained my ankle ... i neva injure myself in basketball.. i INJURED myself playing captain's ball during stage bonding.. sigh... swell like kena sai.. u say unlucky or not? GRRRRR... anyway.. my idiotic doc gave me only two days exemption from PE.. nvm, i shall go get an extension fromm him...

then my sorrows are beginning all over again... but its alright.. this time round i am more than prepared.. i noe what muz be doe in order for me to resolve everything.. from my own to other people's.. so here am i.. searching for solutions.. thinking of the past.. waiting for epiphany..(i thought i already had it? weird..) It ok... i promise i'll resolve everything soon...

Then there's the play coming up in less than 3weeks.. i am so dead.. wat is in character? is it like not knowing hu i am when i am on stage? as in i am no longer xavier but i become Ali(for your information, that's the name of my character. I named him.) well.. i gotta go fathom that out too.. then i gotta read my books! i am lagging uite a bit for my maths and econs! time to get it right! AHHHHH!

Ewww! u are not coming for my play.. idiot.. nvm.. i'll despearately look for ppl to cover ur slot then.. pple come and watch mE! i know 20 is a lot.. but look on the brighter side... I AM ACTING! though it isnt a very large role.. its cool.. i am so not myself.. and dun rebutt me saying that its precisely me thats why u dun wanna watch... tsk tsk.. GTG i needa watch my TV, read my book, do my econs do my maths! YEA!

love from
the big and
frenly ogre
hu calls
himself a
rubbish bin

Xavier/shavia/tongtsanba

SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER long time neva post alr.. my poor blog.. pai seh ah ppl.. too busy wif so much stuff and catching up wif work and my life... sigh.. and also tuition with my Kid.. sigh.. working life is tough.. for the meagre pay.. i rather not... but since i took the job.. i've gotta strive on.. i need STRENGTH!

anyway.. i am starting to feel as if life around me is getting weary.. everything is so draggy... so fast yet so slow... so cold yet so hot... so smooth yet so rough... (i sound as if i am toking some chim stuff but in actual fact its all billshit)

the vicious cycle is repeating itself tmr! i got stage tmr... not surprising but.. it starts at 7pm.. it'll last at least 3 and 1/2 hours.. cool sia.. i'll be like deflated when i reach home.. so so so so so so so so so so so tiring!

but for the passion of the art i'll live and strive on! (ai pia jia eh ya!) wuahahahahah!!

i shall try to be nice tmr! its be nice to ppl special to me day! yea! I LOVE EVERYONE!
I LOVE IDIOT! wuahahahahahaha! I LOVE 3805! I love Dar, Eww, Kentang, MY BEST FRENS and My lousy mortal in 3905.. tsk tsk

haha alright... so xavier's at my house now!! thus i am able to blog on his blog. haha, and guess who i am?... lol... i dun think u will know. ^^ its me! shannon! THE BISEXUAL!!

anyway xavier's too bored and lazy to type... so i shall continue. "no no u idiot!"ok.. i'm back.. that imposter is gone for good.. sent him on his way to the abyss... WUAHAHAHAHAHA!

today was a wonderful day.. got like loads of stuff to type but then too lazy to say much so ya... -.-" and shan's bro just took a girl home!! :D i was super late for school today.. slept till like 7.10... sigh.. then had to cheong econs MCQs.. what a life... reach sch get CWO..(not coz i was late for three times but for being very late) then during econs tutorial.. i felt like an idiot.. (though shannon is insisting that i am one like right now.. u ppl know better than to trust him right? ^^)

then during civics... **********************************! dunno hus bloody trap let slip my name and i have the misfortune of being a class leader... (shan's bro juz took the girl into his room and locked the door.. all is quiet though) but looking on the brighter side.. i've got delta camp during JUNE! and i've gotta bring the class morale up and look out for their welfare and loads of other stuff (to put it plainly.. their NANNY)

anw.. i feel very bad.. i dint do anything nice on do nice things day.. (guilty as charged.. dun hang me!) I sudeenly feel so nostalgic.. siew's house juz opposite shan's.. but she's not home... sigh... I mISS my angel! T_T

love from
your fren
the big and
frenly ogre
hu calls himself
rubbish bin

xavier/shavia/tongsanba

ok.. the weekend's over.. sianz.. but thats not the point.. i fulfilled wat i set out to do.. my homework.. not all of it.. but some of it (i'm trying to be very optimistic here) i did my GP essay! (thats coz my GP teacher is my PDG tutor) my math is alrite.. same as shan i tink.. (i got this bad feeling that he has over taken me.. damn! boy am i slow) my econs.. barely there.. a few more MCQ to meet my Monday quota.. cheong later after my refreshing bath.. Lit.. i am so so so so so so so so so GUILTY! i havent done any reading at all except my silence of the lambs and my current book: Post mortem.. i need to read Lear and Murders in the Rue morgue! ahhhh!

ok... this is seriously bad.. i am stressed out.. then there is terrible terrible timings for rehearsals! i dunno if i said this but tmr i'll end like at 10! HELP! HELP! i gave my kid tuition today.. felt good.. i did work... he did work.. he felt smarter, i felt smarter.. i revised econs and did my essay, he worked out his math.. hmmm... Giving tuition makes me a better student.. i know what its like to mark shit given to me by my student.. be warned pple.. be more conscientious with ur work.. Ur teacher will appreciate it.. I'll swear that its the case!

Tmr is do sth nice to pple special to me day... but i'm like totally clueless as to what to do at all.. (still in the working frame of mind.. only stuff flashing in my head would be lit math and econs at the moment) maybe i'll give everyone a kick in the butt and a smack on the head..

as for myself.. i am pondering over the fact that how sth so simple to you can seem so tough to another person.. its funny how the human brain works.. but what in its entirety is the human brain? we know its the lump of fat in our skull.. but how exactly does it work.. fascinating life is eh?

love from
your fren
the big and
frenly ogre
hu calls himself
rubbish bin
xavier/shavia/tongsanba

holy cow! this is the only expression i can use to describe my week.. it was.. damn! i dunno how to describe it.. shucks.. anyway.. this is the list of homework that needs to be done

1. 3 maths tutorials
2. king lear
3. Murder of the rue morgue
4. econs TYS
5. GP essay

bloody hell! and this is only the work i get for studying 3 subs! ahhhhh! and my stageworks stuff... we have rehearsals like 3 times a week.. monday it'll start at 6 and end like at 10! AHHHH! but thats not the point.. the point is.. COME AND WATCH THE PLAY! its on 13 and 14 May.. at old parliament house! buy tickets from me! okok? heehee..

i juz realised how lotsa things we c on tv very true.. it does reflect on how society is.. how ppl react to things and such.. neva belittle the power of the media...

ok! i'm back again.. i dun tink i m that sad anymore.. but i still suppose i m still sad... but that aint the point.. it'll straighten out when i have the courage to speak to hu i should :) but till then, i am a cowardly rubbish bin...

first.. i muz learn from darr and put aside a day to do sth unique every week... i tink that is exactly what i need.. i seriously think i am a lost lamb/ maybe a lost soul searching for eternity for a resting spot for myself(which would neva happen)

monday: start of the week.. ppl r usually high or low.. so i'll do sth totful 4 ppl special to me! yea! Hopefully its when i can go out too! start of the week!

tuesday: second day of the week.. engines r geared to work.. thus i 'll give my student his lessons.. muz set good example and earn my pocket money.. sigh..(pai mia)

wednesday: drama day.. to get in character, i'll be very very mean.. watch out!

thursday: resting day.. pia my work and lines.. if i m in track.. i'll die! shit..

friday: tok to ppl day.. any1 with anything can come and tok to me... i know u heartbroken souls out there need a listening ear and crying shoulder.. haha!

saturday: Basketball! my long long neva touched game... I MISS YOU!

sunday: Giving lessons and mugging.. Finishing my homework that i was too lazy to do


seems like a life to me.. hopefully.. 3805/1st3mths nmuz have more outings! ok? siew i m still waiting! u look good in ur uniform! hee... no one tinks i look good in my uniform.. shit.. they say i look hideous! sigh.. and they tink my hair cut is horrible... sigh.. i tink its alrite...but i gotta do sth to it.. spike? armani? chicken head? mud style? hmmm

i love u ppl! thank you for everything! yea!

love from your
fren the
big and nice
ogre hu
calls himself
rubbish bin
xavier/shavia/tongsanba

ok.. i dunno if i'm sad or am i sad for other ppl or its both... but things have been very wrong lately... very very wrong.. i mean.. everything thing is wrong.. Juz so very wrong.... i mean like really wrong.. to the extent of very very very wrong! ahhhhhh!!

ok... i need to tok to someone again.. but hu do i tok to? many of us muz be thinking this... if u do havesomeone u feel comfortable to tok to... good! if not... u're in my plight too... sigh...

so... i'm back again.. stupid blogger was down last nite.. sigh... juz when i needed u the most.. nvm.. anw.. i gotta say my thanks to potato... i mean potato helped me straightened out my thoughts last nite though potato neva knew wat was going thru my mind and the reasons for my depression at all.. potato simply did wat potato could.. THANK YOU POTATO! i promise i'll tok to ya if i got problems ok?

i got my uniform.. i tink im starting to look like a true blue ajcian.. (should i say sadly?) its high time i start mugging and make the grades i need.. sad to say.. i havent been doing that for econs.. shit.. but i tink i'm aheadfor lit.. at least a book.. haha! as for maths.. its still status quo.. i cant wait for CLAO to start.. muz show those idiots that i can do chinese.. darn... they dare scorn my command of the chinese language.. humph!

its nearing the end of the week.. time to plan for myself wat to do...

1. i need a haircut soon... my head seems to be growing a thicket!
2. i need to get more lit books to savour
3. i need to start jogging.. i havent gone for my cc trg for a long time...
4. i need to ensure my og ppl dun call me the man with the distorted face
5. i need to start attending stage..
6. i muz do sth nice everyday

thats bout it! but lastly, I LOVE 3805(1st three mths) and eww, darr and potato! and i love my OG which i PS all the time and bo chap them...(r they getting back at me by insisting my face is distorted?)

love from
ur fren
the nice and
frenly ogre hu
calls himself
rubbish bin
xavier/shavia/tongsanba