nobody loves me.. i cant help but think so.. seriously.. i dunthink anyone does.. im so fat and ugly, slow and clumsy, i cant even convey a proper msg across across to anyone.. i am feelin so screwed up.. my mum dun love me, the world hates me, no one listens to me, no one is willin towork wif me.. i doubt anyone will ever give me a chance.. and all i am asking.. is give me a chance.. its like so (Xavier shakes his wrists)

wats so damn wrong with me.. everything is so depressing.. my blog has turned into a really sad place.. y? i dunno... how i wish i knew the ans.. i hate the world! i hate it when i dun feel warmth and love from anyone.. when pple dun give a shit whether u're there or not.. dun u agree.. im so phucked now... i wanna go out and scream! i wanna holler till i lose my voice, run till my legs give way, punch till my knuckles bleed and do situps till i lie on the ground, wasted. what is the source of my misery? somebody tell me.. am i not nice enough? am i not thoughtful and tactful? ami not sensitivie to pple's feelings? do i not give pple a sense of love? i dun understand.. do u have to be loved to love? or do i have to love in order to be loved?

"someday we shall return
to this place up on the meadow
we'll walk out in the rain
hear the birds above
singing once again
oh see
there beyond the hills
the bright colors of the rainbow]
some magic from above made this day for us
just to fall in love"

my gosh.. how i wish i could be there with the one person i could bare my soul to.. and even sell my soul to the devil for.. on that beautiful meadow with the birds and rainbow above me.. why did Bach paint such a beautiful picture with this song.. its called Lovers' Concerto.. how in the world can i get to this haven? if i dun even have love, much less a lover..