it is a marvel to see how people around you are doing things that u never imagine pple their age would ever be capable of doing? weird aint it? sometimes u wonder what have they been doing for their past year of their life.. dun they even have some IQ, AQ and most importantly.. EQ.. how can someone lack that? some girls have the emotional quotient of a senseless little boy while some guys arejuz little kiddos.. wish they'll juz grow up and face life.. dont be so superficial bout everything and seriously deflate ur ego.. nth's all about YOU YOU YOU n only YOU! -growls- i wnt to change this world to a Utopia where only ogres rule and take mud bathsand eat flies.. not animals.. -growls growls-

im open to everyone.. im open to new life.. im opening my heart.. to whoever you are.. -grinz grinz smilez smilez beams beams-

okie!

9days... not too long.. not too short.. Focus, Energy, Drive, Determination. Juz for nine days i need it.. to study and get smart and pass promos with not too bad results. hee.. than wats nxt? so much stuff to do.. SL, CLAO, IHD, PW. tok bout packed man.. DJ too.. GOSHOMANIAKA! i need a break.. which is why im wastingtoday away.. i clocked 15hrs of slp alr.. hows that.. i tink im tired..

sth else's bugging me too.. pple r drifing away.. thats wat i see.. even the closest ones are leaving me.. they seem to have lost the vigour and positive light they had ard them.. others juz moved on.. they dun even reply to calls or msgs.. weird.. juz cuz u've gone on to some other place.. this happened.. pple say things are no longer the same and they feel sad bout it.. bout have u in the first place do sth to make others feel the same? u can only see the faults in others but not ur own. juz likehow u can only see other pple's eyebrows but not ur own...

im keeping an open mind for my life.. thats how good things start.. neva dwell in the past... nor sink in sadness.. or so i've learnt from pple ard me.. some things are painful.. but there are good things too.. satisfaction can be derived.. so can happiness.. as for sadness.. it can be self-induced.. many would agree.. so some would same its juz cuz u study the arts.. thats y.. its not.. its juz that we are more feeling and more human compared to you.. thats all, period..

pain. can be emotional or physical. cause? incidents that occured or due to physical contact. inother cases, phycologically induced. happiness? unknown feeling induced by things or incidents around us that please us. haha.. its high time i feel confidantbout myself.. to face this world as who i am.. no longer hiding my feelings.. i've donethat for too many years alr.. i've gotta face my true self and embrace my life and grasp it in myhand.. thats all.. the rest of the pieces will fall in place on its own..

im no onger waiting for you but looking at life in a new light and waiting for a new person who i dun even noe exists.. i hope that person shows herself to me soon so my wait will finally come to an end.. i am waiting for the one in a million in a lifetime.. waiting... waiting...

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

hihi!

muahahahahaha! im feeling good.. maybe its cuz promos are coming.. andive gotta work hard and ive gotgoals to work towards... life cant get any worse.. i actually feel fulfilled.. so much stuff thats waiting for me.. im not moping ard.. dun worry.. but i am still persisting.. despite knowing that i shouldnt..

coming to realise that i should always keep an open mind to everything in life.. from work, relationships to pple.. this is the only way to liberation and self enlightenment.. gosh.. i sound like some Guru sia... thats not the point.. i feel like im myself again.. the person i rmbed myself to be in the first three mths.. but when it comes to certain things.. im a person of few words.. much to ur disbelief i suppose? heehee

cheers and love.. i miss those days..
but memories are meant to stay
that way so they wont change
and hence wound us in the process..
memories are meant to stay
that way so they will not pain

"like the phoenix rising, i am reborn. waiting for what i have waited since a long time ago"

grrrr. you idiot. you just stole my number 200 post on my own blog!!! i just realised that! -bites- now i have to wait 99 more posts to my new milestone of 300 posts!


anyways. still a thank-you for posting that. hahas. as i've said. let's keep each other happy! hahas. YOU ALL HEARD THAT! XAVIER'S MINE!!! WAHAHA. =D


lalalas. happiness to all who are like us... not. well, at least we are trying. so to all others, don't go the same path as us and keep happy. hahas.


i'm so bored that i just wanna go...
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hahas. sorry. i'm mad. shall end off here... with another...
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good nights world. (:

im too chilled.. to say anything.. wats wrong with me.. i dont know.. what do i want.. i cant tell.. i only know i have ta pull thru the promos and then pull thru my A's then NS then what?

i want to do so many things but i realise that im stopping myself too.. painful? no.. juz plain irritating.. junkai mentioned on his blog twice.. Love and be Silent.. well.. is that wat he is doing? im sorry dude.. but u aint knowing what that is.. neither do i.. but i think i know its meaning better than u do.. its draining alright.. makes u seem as if u're swimming in clay, running with a parachute, breathing with a plastic bag tied around ur neck..

Y do people have issues against others? why are pple picked on all the time?

when i do work.. pple pick on sth else to say. When i dun, of course they complain. sometimes a juvenile thing can seem so big when its not exactly ur fault to begin with.. it aint my responsibility to send the report.. thats y i dun see the big hoo-ha over my claim that i dint receive it.. yes its dumb that i dint check the junkmail for the e-mail.. but hey.. looking at wat stuff goes into the junkmail and that other stuff u have sent goes to my inbox.. i dont see how i am totally at fault here.. u asked me not to give u shit anymore.. so can i ask what kinda shit have i exactly given all the time? u'll mention the interviews, and what else? havent i done sth else? u screwed up stuff too.. bigger than i have.. so i hope u wun juz pick n me.. do u seriously have sth against me? if u do could upls be more mature and speak it out? and not just harbour on it and make my life miserable.. GROW UP

im gonna start working my ass off... soon.. real soon.. i promise.. like i have to you, you and you..


going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going..... GONE!