havent really slept for two whole days alr.. going on to three. n its common test week. wats wrong with me? i really dont.. may be it was that blow u dropped me, i dont know.. im just so empty.. i really just dont know...

im kinda rotting my life away by actually studying.. whats wrong with me? maybe im just n0t smart enough. maybe im just not who i really made myself out to be. maybe the hollw in me is finally causing lines of weakness to appear. maybe im crumbling away because i got a suck punch. because i am hollow, n because i let down my defenses.

maybe its time i stop drawing strength from within, because i am hollow. i dont believe in God n there wont be a chance i He can be my pillar of support. im just a weakling. i should just stop and sink. maybe i'll hit the bottom with a "clink" like deathstrike did.


Good night, good morning.. today's ticking..

**the infant stood at the door, using the wall as a support. it eyed the back of the woman, whom it thought would be its mum, getting smaller and smaller till it disappeared over the horizon of the setting sun.


it wanted to let her know its feelings and thoughts. but it couldnt speak because no one taught it to. it was helpless.


all it could do was to wave with its free hand.


in a last ditch effort to make the woman turn back, it jumped and waved with two arms.


it lost its balance and fell.


there was no one to help it up,
no one to carry n console it, no one to cuddle and love it,
no one to teach it to love.


it just sat there,



tear drop after tear drop roll down its cheeks.





unable to get up,








tear drop after tear drop roll down its cheeks.











unable to get help,













tear drop after tear drop roll down its cheeks.


-shavia

HE received the pass and attempted to dribble past the opposition and make them close down on him before laying the ball off for his team-mate to shoot.

HE had a plan that was supposed to work on theory, but he was brought down by a crunching tackle.

"BEEEP!" the whistle rang. It was a free-kick just outside the penalty area. It was so close yet so far.

If HE could score it, they win. That goal would be the winning goal and it would be HIS and only HIS.

HE has to deliver. HE has had mounting expectations by his fans and kinsman. Failure was not an option anymore.

HE stood a few metres from the ball, adjusted his angle and mentally decided how he would take the kick.

Another plan was conceived in HIS head. HE would shoot the ball over the defensive wall and aim for the top corner of the goal-mouth.

HE took a deep breath and started his run. Small rapid steps, then with one large left footed stride he pivoted himself and swung HIS right foot.

HE contacted the ball perfectly at the bottom of the sphere. The ball took flight with a dipping spin. It soared over the wall and flew towards the spot HE was aiming for.

But HE never knew whether he scored or not, because sadly the story teller don't know either.

what do YOU think the outcome would be like?

aiyo. my heart moved by who you don't know meh. that person, is someone you know so well for your whole life.


you lah. hahas. tsk. 讨厌。after so long still don't know. =P


but okay you want serious. it's you interpreted it wrongly. hahas. you chose to think that my heart 被感动。it's not lo. it's just my heart was 触动。hahas.


aiya, your side. i try to help lo. hahas. but well, it depends alot on you. 加油吧！


:D

the world is a tmd place. look at your surroundings, your frens, your life and then the news and then the world.

i choose to think that it is a wonderful world. but sometimes.. the TMDness is simply too much to bear. seriously speaking.. i mean just OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE.

feeling so empty, perhaps its time to fill myself. but with what. with anything that comes along or something that i wanna fill myself with?

so pple.. some food for thought.
-what are u waiting for?
-what are u looking for?
-whats holding u?
-what do u want in life?

pls tell me eh? cuz im lost and i need some light. so could u be that light? and save me from this perpetual darkness that i was born into and stayed in till now. gritting my teeth and holding on. waiting for the day u would save me and release me and embrace me.

well im back. with a vengence? kinda..

to whom it may concern(if u're reading my blog)
*how does it feel to know that u've been screwed up in the head and forced to go through emotional pain every night for a while before u painfully slip into thankful sleep? whats been done to u is only that bit that im capable of. u deserve every bit of what u got cuz of what u did. stay off me and my dear ones or i swear u'll have sth worse. u wont know when it'll strike, but it will come.. just like this time round. "u're one year too late" for revenge? i say better late than never *smiles*


on a lighter note, i love my camp. i shant talk bout it, cuz i want it in my memory and i want to have "rememories" of it over and over again. Alpha, if u read this, i'm sure u'll agree n say u love me too:)

as for my outlook to the world?
its a beautiful world and wonderful place despite the horrible things we see in the newspapers day in and out. i'm loving it..

dry your tears with love shannie says, i say why bother tearing? just love and love hard.
"thin love aint love at all"

kwanie says he has a sense of contentment. he simply loves to make pple jealous. bitch..

my dearest classmates(u know who u are) i appreciate u guys despite my facade of WHATEVER. haha



so to the world or any other passerby that might read my blog, i say Perhaps Love to u, cuz it'll strike the David in man n the Joan in women.

-sHav