i thought i could.


i really really thought i did.


But little did i know, just when i thought all was fine,

you re-appeared.

Just why did that happen? I thought all would be fine. But no, on that bright cheery day when the perpetual gloom was lifted off everyone's shoulder, when everyone was truly bluely happy and having fun in the sun, at the beach. U had to remind me. You had to inject that chasm of hope into my bones.

And now, it just can't be flushed away.
Flushed away like all other things before.

Did you know?

I couldnt bring myself to hate you. And i still cant.
Maybe because you mean so much to me. Maybe because you made me step out and forward like none before had ever done. But whatever you changed in me, in turn marked me for eternity. I am still here, holding on, hanging on, to that fast diminishing chasm of hope.

Perhaps clinging on to it might result in my plunge to the abyss, but i'd rather die clinging on to hope than to forsake it. For hope has driven mankind thus far in history. i'd rather perish holding on.

i am most certain of how i feel this time round.


i love you.