i think at any point of time in our lives, should anyone ever ask if we are ready to die, the answer should be a firm yes.

this is because we should have had enough sense to seize the day and live each day to it's fullest. there would be nothing that we wanted but haven't yet tried. We should most probably be satisfied with whatsoever we have. That is living a life.

but sadly, this is far from reality. we never are ready to go. Never. always something still left behind, unfulfilled. this is what makes us human, weak in flesh and temporal in eternity.

i say we go out and be young. embrace what we should. dun give a shit bout too many what ifs. just do it. so long as you dun physically or emotionally make use of or hurt somebody.

so i say go for it matey. be a man and do the right thing.

Labels: Jaded

Dear BJCS,

And so I will be rob you of your 150th entry, but to me it will be much needed. The same said to me applies to you too, love love. (: So do take care too yes?

From your much loved BJCS.

Someone mentioned today that i dun exactly emote a lot.
Someone from a while back told me im like an enigma that is hard to figure.
Someone asked me last night is it really that hard to tell someone you've got feelings for her.

i told them all the same thing.

I have emotions like any other. It's just that when some part of you dies, emotions becomes a choice. When the situation arises, you actually choose what you want to be. Especially so for anger and sadness. And when you become a person like this, i think it is a tragedy. It would be so much easier to leave things at face value but hell no. It doesn't happen that way. Thats a price you pay when u're given a gift.

It's funny why that girl asked me something like that. It really is. I was contemplating certain things and she ask me such a jarring question. It really puts me in a spot you dweeb. So i told her that it is a tough thing to do cuz a man has to shed all his ego and humble himself in order to tell the girl how he feels. Moreover, if you're put in this dilema while you're still a kid, all the more it is gonna be hard. Dun blame him, it's just how guys are wired. Really.

After having said all that. Now im put in a spot because im forced to face everything. The ball is in my court. Maybe it was done unknowingly but nevertheless. Painful i tell you. And now i go wonder, on living by my principles or trying to be a SNAG

Labels: Messed Up

We all need re-fueling time to time. That serves to keep us rooted to what we are and strive to become. Im thankful for meeting you people. Not that you'll ever see this post. But thank you all the same. The camp wasn't that good, it was you guys who made the difference=))

Merry X-mas to everyone! it was a jolly plain affair ah well. This is "Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow and for you guys=> To a very beautiful 181208 - 221208:

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

- X

Labels: where memories are the most beautiful pictures

This is interesting. I never knew changing of blogskins would have this much response. Haha. Oh well, the old one was a little too intense for me. Especially when that was a relic from Sept 2005. It is time to move on man.

Shan- you really dint have to rub it in. Especially when you're in camp and she's outside. have more faith in yourself if not anyone else. Grah.

Qx- Come on la bro. Relac ah. I give you kiss. *purses lips* anw, this was the first skin i saw and just whack lo. like the grey tone. Nwahaha

Shell- Changing of my skin is when i really had nothing to do. so yea. though it stayed with me for 3 years already.time to move on. Im good, except for the amazing thailand experience.

Friend, a commonly used word in today's context. But how often do we take a backseat and think for ourselves who are friends and who are fiends? Not that often. We seem to place trust easily upon people and then regret later on when our trust was misplaced. How wretched can humans get? Impossibly if you ask me.

I personally think that a friend will and must always plus the joy, minus the suffering, times the happiness and divide the pain. A friend is a mathematician. One who masters the math of intangibles. That is a friend.

A friend will know when you're down or stuck with a predicament. Even if he or she misses it, they will know it and apologize for it. A friend always cares. Maybe with the erosion of time, the care is less frequent because your lives don't coincide but effort will be made.

I know i fail my own definition at times too. I am sorry for that, friend. I will try. But let us look back and think just for that moment;

How much of a friend are you?

Labels: A Friend Reflection

There really is so much to share and talk about but there is only so little that can ever be divulged. We will always be duty bound to our identities and loyalties. I am sorry.

Thailand was as amazing as it could ever get, expecially when you earn your bread and butter in an economically stronger country. Gives u major spending power over there. So i did managed to buy a little bit of clothes. Heh.

Looking at the books that laid upon the table, he was caught in a dilema. What was he to buy? He could only buy one. How was he to decide? He really did not mind any of the books. It was just how was he ever going to make a choice? It is definitely tough. His passion for tomes has reached a point where it is arbitary. So long as it is a good one, it does not matter the genre, the print or whatsoever. He is definitely in a fix now. He is after all in a time where he can only make one choice.

Labels: On tomes and scrolls