I answered, "I only had one and I'm glad I haven't been a disappointment."

This is something that I'd say confidently and with pride. I have managed in all sense to do well. Maybe some might think it's not good enough but for me, I am contented. I balanced school work with social commitments and even staying away from home.

I did well academically.
I stayed healthy.
I made new friends and kept old ones.
I might be busy but I have putting in effort for all I participate in.

Having done all these, I'd want to say I did my parents and sister proud. I made sure they did not worry for this big bloke. I know I'm on my way to fully convince them that I am capable of taking care myself and of being independent. It has been a good year.

Highlights of the year

I think I managed to get good number of things done and even got to experience a whole new lot of things. I acted in the Arts House and the Esplanade Theater Studios. At last in a long long time, my academics was not a reason for worry to my family. Over the last year, I experienced how loving a sister I possess. She dotes and splurges on me and I like it, even if she buys me pink shirts and broad shorts. I'm thankful for 2009, for all the ups and downs. I grew and became a better person in ways that I thought I needed improvement.

For the new year

There's so much that I'd want to achieve but there is only so much time. So I've decided that I want the following for the coming year.
1. I don't want to disappoint
2. I want to become even more mature and stable
3. I want to continue making a difference in all I do
4 I want to bring heartfelt smiles to the faces of those close to me
5. I want to stretch myself a bit more again.

Thinking you are capable enough is one thing. Finding out for yourself to see if you are is another. Right now, I want to feel the wind beneath my wings. I want to try to touch the blue blue sky and fluffy cotton clouds.

So here's a toast to 2009 going and 2010 coming.

Clang

all i need is a simple lift

In retrospect, Christmas is an interesting period of the year. The surge in consumerism, the desperate attempt by marketing comms and advertisers to associate spending with joy. For the undiscerning, spending the dollar to acquire a gift is in itself enough. But they fail to realize that the acquisition of a a gift is different from the acquisition of the gift. Very subtle, but very few even bother.

So the ideal situation is when one receives a gift that both possess monetary value and is in itself a gift that is valuable for the thought that went into it. Having said this, most people who are concerned with the thought would not even be bothered by the value because their eyes are fixated upon the sentimentality and sincerity that accompanies the expensive or inexpensive gift.

This year for Christmas, my best friend bought me a CD and a book while I wrote a letter and compiled a CD of songs associated with memories shared. The differential is obvious. I probably spent less than a dollar for his gift and he probably spent about 50. But the thing is, we're both happy with our gift because it all meant something for us. He bought me a jazz CD knowing I've been in a jazzy mood of late and Mitch Albom's latest book knowing how a emotional basket case I can be. The important thing here is that we both appreciate the gifts we received simply because we know the intentions behind each gift. However, within this example, look at how the joyous act of giving and sharing is being warped by the consumerist ideals. Things could have been easily misinterpreted if we both had started off with incongruent motivations. I am thankful I really do have a friend in that best friend.

On another note, everything that I gave this Christmas is true and real. Despite the rationality and control that I had tried to exert, I succumbed after a barrage of shells pelted my stark nakedness. I really don't regret it at all and I'm thankful I now have enough character to see me through. Through this, there is no loss and only gain. Even if the rationality and control I yielded earlier are going to come and haunt me, faith and character will see me through.

There is no for good or for worse. There is only a life that will go wondering by. I have and will only gain and gain.

Goodnight and sleep tight.

all i need is a simple lift

all i need is a simple lift