"I am sorry"

It is true that many a times, all it takes is just an apology in order for everything to turn out fine. Three simple words is all it takes and a world of difference it would make. People would feel better, wounds can heal and everybody moves on in their lives.

But what happens when you are getting increasingly sick of hearing those same words from the same person speaking with the same emotions. Yes, I am saying that one can feel sick and be sick. How does one end up like that? When clearly the same person is making similar "mistakes" or intruding upon you time and again when the person shouldn't be.

And so, whenever the person makes these "mistakes" or intrude upon or trouble you, he or she will apologize time and time again. This is when an apology starts to lose its meaning.

An apology is meant to be sincere and it is born out of regret and sincerity. But what happens here is that there is repeated moments of regret and sincerity when these people apologize time and time again as they repeatedly make you feel upset. Here lies the irony; if they were regretful and sincere about their apologies, why should there be repeated incidences of such apologies? Shouldn't things be kept ot a minimal?

This then leads us to the next question, what exactly is the person thinking? What sort of motivations does that person have? I don't know and I don't dare to answer these questions.

You make me feel like I'm a convenient cover for things. You make me feel like I'm a safety net for you to fall back on. You make me feel miserable during moments like this. I ask not for fairness but for a little bit of conscience and consideration, for my sanity and your sanctuary. I need my distance and space, to build my own life and to heal my own soul. Give us a break.

"Let this be my last answer to your whims; my last gift to you. Goodbye." (Xavier Tong PINK/BLUE/OTHERS, 2009)

Labels: Implicity and Motivations